A Slightly Sarcastic Guide to Finally Feeling Like You’re Enough (Maybe)

“All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it’ll
Never be enough”
– The Greatest Showman

[Written by Claude, image credit]

Ever notice how even the fanciest peacock at the party is probably in the bathroom mirror wondering if their feathers are spectacular enough? That’s us humans in a nutshell – except we’ve upgraded from feathers to Instagram filters and LinkedIn humble-brags.

Thanks to our oversized brains, we’ve developed the absolutely hilarious ability to not only worry about finding food and not getting eaten, but also whether we’re living up to our “potential” – whatever that means.

Our cave-dwelling ancestors who were constantly thinking “I should probably gather more berries” survived long enough to pass on their genes. Now here we are, their neurotic descendants, lying awake at 3 AM wondering if we should start a podcast or learn Sanskrit or maybe become a part-time dolphin trainer – because somehow, being a functional adult with a job and plants that are mostly alive just doesn’t feel like enough.

The real cosmic joke? Even the people we think “have it all” are probably sitting in their luxury bathtubs, surrounded by scented candles, having an existential crisis about whether they’re making enough of a difference in the world or if their charity gala had the right kind of vegan options.

We’re essentially monkeys who got smart enough to invent anxiety, then created social media to make sure we never run out of new things to feel inadequate about. If aliens are watching us, they’re probably taking notes: “Subject species has mastered space travel but still can’t master self-acceptance. Fascinating.”

But hey, maybe there’s something beautiful about never feeling quite enough. After all, it’s that same restless spirit that made us look at the moon and think, “I bet we could walk on that” – right after thinking, “but what if we trip in front of all the other astronauts?”

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Listen up, fellow members of the “I Should Probably Be Doing More With My Life” club! Here’s your semi-serious guide to finding contentment, or at least stopping the 3 AM spiral of comparing yourself to that person from university who co-founded Uber or to that guy who sold his company to Cisco for billions.

Step 1: Embrace Present Moment Awareness (Even the Awkward Ones) Yes, this means actually tasting your coffee instead of chugging it while scrolling through Instagram. Revolutionary, I know. Bonus points if you can sit still for five whole minutes without wondering if you should be learning Mandarin or starting a vertical garden.

Step 2: Redefine “Enough” (And Stop Moving the Goalposts) Write down your personal definition of success. No, “becoming Elon Musk but nicer” is not a valid answer. Maybe success is having a dog who thinks you’re amazing and plants that are actually alive. Maybe it’s mastering the art of making really good toast. Whatever it is, make it yours, not your LinkedIn feed’s.

Step 3: Break Up with Social Media (Or At Least Start Seeing Other Activities) Dear Instagram, it’s not me, it’s definitely you. We need to set some boundaries. I can’t keep pretending that everyone else is having perfect avocado toast while doing yoga on a beach at sunset. It’s exhausting, and we both know those photos took 47 tries.

Step 4: The “Done List” (AKA The Anti-Productivity Productivity Hack) Instead of a to-do list that breeds like rabbits, keep a “look-what-I-actually-did” list. Did you put on pants today? Write it down. Reply to that email you’ve been avoiding for three weeks? That’s practically a TED talk worthy achievement. Celebrate it.

Step 5: Appreciate What You’ve Got (Without Getting All Hallmark About It) Remember when you wished for things you have now? Like remembering wanting to chug a whole can of Coke without having to share with your sister? Well, look at you now, you don’t even want Coke anymore – too much sugar! Take that, past self!

Step 6: Create Something (Anything, Really) Channel that restless “I’m not doing enough” energy into making something. Could be art, could be a really elaborate sandwich. Doesn’t matter if it’s good – the point is you made a thing! That’s more than most people scrolling through TikTok can say.

Remember: Contentment isn’t some magical state where you suddenly feel complete while unicorns prance around your perfectly organized home. It’s more like making peace with the fact that you’re a wonderfully weird work in progress, just like everyone else pretending to have it all figured out.

And hey, if all else fails, remember that even the most successful people probably still feel like they should be doing more. They’re just doing it in fancier pants.

P.S. If you’re reading this while lying in bed wondering if you should start a new hobby/career/life, congratulations! You’re absolutely, perfectly, normally human. Welcome to the club. We have cookies (that we definitely feel guilty about eating).

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[Written by ChatGPT]

“Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It” by Jennifer Breheny Wallace explores the damaging effects of today’s intense focus on achievement, particularly on children and adolescents. Wallace critiques the cultural pressures that prioritize external success over personal well-being, leading to widespread stress, anxiety, and depression among young people.

Key Themes:

1. Achievement Culture:
   • Wallace identifies how societal and parental pressures to excel in academics, sports, and extracurriculars create an unsustainable burden on children.
   • This culture often equates self-worth with accomplishments, leading to feelings of inadequacy and burnout.
2. The Role of “Mattering”:
   • Central to the book is the concept of “mattering,” which means feeling valued for who you are rather than what you achieve.
   • Wallace highlights research showing that when individuals feel they matter to others, they are more resilient, healthier, and better able to cope with stress.
3. Parenting in the Achievement Era:
   • Parents often unknowingly perpetuate toxic achievement culture by focusing on metrics like grades, test scores, and trophies.
   • The book encourages parents to nurture intrinsic motivation, emotional health, and individuality in their children.
4. Cultural and Societal Influences:
   • Wallace examines broader societal factors, such as competitive college admissions and the impact of social media, which amplify perfectionist tendencies.
   • The book advocates for systemic changes in schools and communities to prioritize mental health and holistic development.

Practical Solutions:

• Redefining Success: Encourage children to define success based on their own values rather than societal expectations.
• Fostering Emotional Connection: Build strong, supportive relationships where children feel seen, heard, and valued.
• Balancing Achievement and Well-Being: Promote activities that bring joy and fulfillment without the pressure of performance.
• Advocating for Change: Work towards institutional reforms that de-emphasize rigid benchmarks of success.

Wallace’s book serves as both a critique of modern achievement culture and a guide for fostering healthier environments where children can thrive without being consumed by the need to constantly prove their worth. It combines research, personal stories, and actionable advice, making it a valuable resource for parents, educators, and policymakers.